Today is the day we celebrate those we care about and today I want you to celebrate ... YOU!

Here is a Valentines Day exercise that I want you to do.  Reach for something that you love (or at least like a little bit) about yourself, do it even if there is not much.  When you think of three things write them down and put them in your pocket.  During the day read the list at least 5 times.  Keep track!  This is a very important part of getting to where you want to be and that is why you signed up for this newsletter right??  To get closer to who and where you want to be?  So, start practicing a little self-appreciation.  It does take practice.  You don't have to understand why or how this will help you ...  Just try it. :)

"Just because you can't see past it,

doesn't mean that there
is nothing beyond it"

~ Michelle Cleary, excerpt from "Peanut Butter"

Therapy Tips:
How to make therapy work better for you!

I am amazed at our human spirit and resilience!  I get to witness people transform their experiences, relationships, and lives into that which they desire them to be.  This result is not always easy nor is it instantaneous but it IS attainable.  My most successful clients have a few things in common, which are:

they are able to listen and hear.  

  • if you are going to begin a journey towards greater happiness and fulfillment you must start by practicing the skill of quieting your thoughts, assumptions and impulses so you are better able to take in new information.   

they spend more time and energy focusing on themselves then they do others.

  • the most effective work will be the work you do on yourself.  Observing and exploring your feelings, reactions, thought patterns, fears, etc. will be much more beneficial then spending all of your session talking about how wrong your friend is or how annoying your boss is, etc.  These topics are important and they will come up in therapy but the goal is to always go back to ...  yes, that's right, "how does that make you feel?" ;)  

they don't just give an answer they think of the answers.

  • Therapists don't ask you questions in the same way a teacher would during a quiz.
    When we ask a question we often don't expect you to actually know the answer.  The goal is to get you to think about the question and the many possible answers there are. The goal is guide you to new information and a deeper understanding of yourself not to test you on what you currently know about you.